One of the most common temptations people fall for when a relationship is ending is the desire to find a new love - Often these people have been unhappy and missing love, companionship and sex for a longtime, and so there's a real pent-up, unmet need for love.Since I counsel men and women before, during and after a relationship or marriage, including through a divorce, I frequently see people dating when separated.He didn’t try to hold my hand, hug me, or even really get close at all. I can’t change him or this night, so I have to work on changing me.We know of a couple who stayed legally separate but married for some 25 years. It would erode their joint fortune and diminish the money available to their children (they had two).(Indeed, they exist in that state to this day.) The woman, happily living in a townhouse in Miami, plays tennis during the day and spends evenings with her lover, another woman. In the man's case, getting a divorce would only make him available for remarriage, an idea he hardly relishes.I most often run into people dating while separated when they're separated themselves and involved with someone else who's separated too.
A marital separation is the first step to divorce for some couples, while others use the time apart to define what they really want out of life and figure out how their spouse fits into that picture.And with the prevalence of cheating, a lot of times one partner has already begun a new relationship and the other partner is now seeking to get 'mine.' Once it's been decided by one, or both, partners to end the relationship, most typically both of partners start seeking a new relationship. If you really care about your new love interest then you'll apply more reason than emotion to your decision about dating while separated.Being separated and not dating is one of the hardest temptations to resist. You'll also make your decision about more than just what you want.The man, who enjoys the city life in a Manhattan penthouse, runs a successful business and has pursued a series of monogamous relationships that fell apart, one by one, when he refused to commit to marriage. This estranged couple had their relationship formalized in a Separation and Property Settlement Agreement drafted by their attorneys.For them, it was the best route to new and separate lives.