Listening and validating feelings

In my marriage, we both go for win, win, or no deal (one of the 10 agreements of an indestructible marriage).Action step: Take notes on this video, write down each “skill” and practice with our partner. So, if men, if we want to avoid more fighting and get connected a whole lot sooner, while saving time, here’s a simple starter video that gives a good picture of what we’re screwing up, and what to do instead. Validation is the key to softening a woman’s heart.As part of BPD treatment through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), people with the psychiatric disorder are taught skills to help them learn both to feel validated and to validate others.

By definition, you someone's thoughts or feelings by acknowledging that they make sense and you understand where they are coming from.Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often the result of an invalidating environment during childhood.People who grow up in invalidating environments are often led to believe that their emotions and thoughts aren’t valid, and they discern that their emotions aren’t correct.Jack, a retired fireman, had taken his wife Alexis to see the Coen brothers’ movie Inside Llewyn Davis. Alexis agreed that the acting, cinematography, music and dialogue were all top-notch. One pet cat was lost through carelessness, another cat was abandoned in a car with a drug addict, and a third cat was hit by a car.Some people in the theater had found this unlucky-cat motif to be humorous, and laughed at it, but Alexis was horrified.